I firmly believed that my body did not know how to put itself in labor. I figured I would have to have my membranes stripped again to be able to have this baby. So I went ahead and scheduled that for November 1 at 4:00pm assuming it would be like Beckham and I would go into labor 12 hours later. I also scheduled my induction just to be on the safe side for November 5 at 10am, I was hellbent on not being pregnant past my due date this go around.
But on October 29th, I was especially tired of being pregnant so I decided to push myself that day. I walked about 3 miles to a park with Beckham in 90 degree weather. Then when I got home I went straight to cleaning my entire house and when Zach got home from a class we decided to go to the beach. I was tired, but I figured if I was going to push myself I should forgo the nap and keep going.
I went to bed later that night thinking I would wake up pregnant, little did I know that I still would. (haha)
Anyways...
I was laying in bed and awoke around 6am to slight uncomfortable pressure. It was localized in my belly so I assumed what I was experiencing was once again false labor (I had had that about a week earlier). I decided to get up and hop in the shower to see if they would fade.
The contractions did not, but they were also not intense so I figured it was something else. I laid back down in bed and just breathed and focused calmly on my body. I laid there for about an hour and since they had not faded and were gradually more intense I decided for the heck of it I would time them. They held a consisted 7 to 8 min apart pace.
When Zach came up to bed about an hour later around 8am, I told him that I may be in labor but wasn't quite sure yet. He told me if I was to come get him, because he too assumed false labor. I said I would and then I went and got Beckham.
The contractions started to speed up and held a 6-7 min apart pace. I wasn't feeling great now at 8:30ish and hopped in the shower again to see if they would help alleviate some of the discomfort. While they were not overly painful it was still a sharp uncomfortable pain that required some focus and calm breathing to get through.
Since the shower wasn't really helping I got out of the shower, and went downstairs and figured they were still not the real thing (Since my body does not know how to go into labor on its own...) and decided to do some things to distract me, so I switched over laundry and ate a small breakfast. While I was switching over laundry I called my mom and told her I was unsure if these were contractions. But each time they came I had to stop and breathe to get through them. My ever watchful mom told me that I should probably get my husband up and head to the hospital just in case.
At this point it was around 9am. I walked up the stairs, woke up Barbara and Emilie telling them I was having contractions and got Zach up. Poor man only got about an hour of sleep, but he hopped right up, grabbed our bags and we headed to the car.
At this point they were about 5 min apart and painful. I stopped and gave my Beckham a long hug as a I knew that this life we had come to know for the past four years was ending. It made me very sad, and even though I was excited to invite this new person in I was still sad about what was ending.
We got in the car and headed to the hospital. Unfortunately it was rush hour traffic, and we only almost got in one accident ( ;) Zach) and what should have been a 30 min drive took about an hour and some change. But it was ok, I had my playlist on and I was breathing through each contraction and when I wasn't Zach and I were in good spirits.
When we arrived around 10:30 I got wheeled up and checked into triage. My midwife checked me and I was at a four. They wanted me at a six before admitting me to a delievery room so she recommended we walk around the labor and delivery floor for an hour and some before checking me again. She asked if I wanted any pain intervention and I denied. I knew I could do it without and wanted to since Beckham's epidural had worn off anyways and I felt like had slowed things down and made nursing harder.
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| Checked in |
Contractions in the hallway.
After we had walked around for a bit we decided to head back to our room.
They had brought a ball in so I sat on that and continued to breathe through my contractions.
Since we were at Zach's work he decided to run downstairs real quick and let them know he would not be at work that night. During that time (about 20 min) I called my mom and had her talk me through each contraction.
They were painful, and close together, but I was still calmly breathing through each one waiting for it to end.
The rest of my time of active labor was spent in my triage room.
Around 12:30 the midwife came back in and I was at a 6. She asked if I wanted a tub and at that point the contractions was very intense. I was sitting on the bed and in the short break of no contraction Zach supported my body since I would completely relax my dead weight into him. He would remind me to relax which was very hard to do.
They got me all settled on the bed and started to wheel me to the room. Somewhere between the 30 steps to the delivery room though I started having intense contractions radiating around my entire midsection, back to belly. I started to yell and I felt this immense need for pressure to be released so what I pushed once and what I thought was wetting the bed was actually my water breaking. The nurse pushing the bed told the other one to check if the baby was coming because of how much i was yelling and grunting. The other nurse looked down and said yes.
They quickly ran me into my room and transferred me to the delivery bed and yelled for the midwife to come immediately. There were about 20 people in the room trying to get things done so it was very chaotic. I pushed again when I was on the bed and more water and meconium came flooding out.
The midwife came running in and put her hand on my pelvis and told me not to push and to let the baby stretch my body naturally so I didn't tear so much. She told me to reach down and feel the baby but i declined, I was in intense pain and had gone from a 6 to a 10 in about 10 min so wasn't needing the motivation.
I pushed once more and then they placed Holland on me.
I didn't cry and didn't even look at her initially, I just stared at Zach, I was mostly in shock from the rapid pain increase I had just endured. But after a few minutes I looked down and saw my sweet baby.
It was over. Three pushes and my baby was born. Looking back over my discharge papers it said I was admitted to my delievery room at 12:49 and baby was born at 12:52 so three minutes total in pushing. In hindsight I am actually very grateful it went the way it did. I labored naturally on my own and then with pushing she came really quick. Painful, yes, but quick so no complaints. I also did not tear at all which is a miracle in itself.
LINK:
https://vimeo.com/373959539 (first time trying to nurse) which if anyone knows is a big deal to me (dont worry no boobage is shown)
Motherhood the second time around for me as been much better. Holland is fussier than Beckham but I still don't get as frazzled as I would have. I don't have postpartum depression like I did with Beckham either which helps. I realize how quick it goes, so I think even though Holland does have opinions....ALOT of opinions...it won't last and she will be big before I know it.
Perhaps I won't miss the crying for no reason, but I will miss a lot of what is happening now so patience and calm is not hard to achieve.
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| She only slept for about two hours that first night and it was like this... |
Glad she is here, excited to be a family of four, excited to watch her grow, excited to watch Beckham interact with her. Love my life and my little family.
October 30, 2019
12:59pm
Labored total 7 hours
Pushing: 7 min
