Lesson Learned

I was not going to write a blog on this, but in a couple of years, I think it'll be helpful to me to come back and reread this.
I am sad.  I really don't want to go through surgery again, I don't want to go through recovery again, I don't want to limp around again, I don't want to have to work my way through walking, jogging, to running, and to finally cutting and playing soccer again.  I am tired of it-and it makes me sad.  This time I am trying to be positive again, but all I really want to do is play soccer at my level and to the best of my ability, I am tired of going "easy"when I play, I haven't been able to play the complete way I want to in a long time-its frustrating, and I wish so many things to be undone...

I am sad, and I am tired of it all-BUT
I am grateful for understanding parents, patient and loving parents
friends who comfort me while I am far from home
siblings who call and email me
that it isn't my ACL
that I  chose to coach instead of play, that I still get to be a part of soccer even if it isnt the active part that I wish I could
I have the gospel in my life to rely on
that I have a Heavenly Father who is there to comfort me when I am sad, and the knowledge that there is a lesson to be learned here and to not ask "why this is happening", but "what is there to learn"

I am sad, and instead of putting on a false smile and hiding behind it (like the previous three times) and relying on no one, I decided to just say it-I am sad, but I am grateful, not for the situation or the previous ones, but for the lessons that I will learn through all this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZFBl7xNXjc

Still in Limbo

I moved out of Drew's and Jessie's to a new location-Peter and Jill's, I have yet to live in my own place still. So I am still currently caught in Limbo.  This summer has been pretty unproductive...I haven't done anything really, except maybe read a couple of good books, one being "Divergent", but something that has been nice is spending a lot of time around family that I dont get to be around as much.  The first month I was with Etta, and let me say that that lady is the most social 77 year old I know, she is more social and outgoing than I am and I am a sophomore in college.   Then after numerous games of skipbo and 5 crowns I moved in with Drew, where I spent time throwing a frisbee, deciding what to eat for dinner, and calling doctors in Provo, American Fork and Saratoga Springs trying to finish all my appointments before I left for Idaho (which I did with a lot of persistence).  Now I am in Idaho with Peter, and enjoying my time with them.  Peter and I go on long walks in the morning while Jill works and then when Peter is gone Jill and I creep on facebook and watch movies. 

But even though I am more than ready to start my semester and move into my "own" place, I am having fun and enjoying my time doing "nothing".=)